Identity Crisis

Recently my pastor asked me if I knew who God was. I said yes immediately with confidence and said who He was to me. Then he asked if I knew who I was……….I had no answer. It seems like such an easy question to ask but really I had no clue how to respond in the moment. Am I just treating my relationship with God like I’ve treated every relationship I’ve had? Where I get so wrapped up in who the other person is and I lose my identity in them? This is a tricky train of thought because finding my identity in Jesus is EXACTLY what He created me to do. So when it comes to God, yes, I AM supposed to get wrapped up in who He is and follow His examples BUT I feel like my problem is that I just leave myself out of it.

I find that a lot of times when I come to God I am mainly telling Him how good He is and faith statements about all He can and has done. When I talk about myself to Him, I’m mainly bringing up the things I need to work on and do better, or something I need help with. It’s rarely ever that I really spend time thinking about who He says I am to HIM. I have a hard time believing the good things people say about me and when God says it I react exactly the same way. I have a hard time believing that He actually feels that way about me. Not because of anything to do with His character, but to do with mine. I easily believe what He says about what I’m able to actively do through Him and with His help but I struggle to believe what He affectionally says about who I am to Him and how He sees me.

“Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.” Ephesians 1:4-5

“For all who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God. So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, ‘Abba, Father.’ For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children. And since we are his children, we are his heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory.” Romans 8:14-17a,b

This is who God says I am. His child. He has adopted me as His own. So what does it mean to be a daughter of God? An heir? To me, that doesn’t sound like just a random girl that He’s taken into His home because she has no place else to go. He has fully adopted me as if He is my own blood family. He’s made me an heir to ALL that He has. He’s chosen me as His own. I have the full rights as an actual blood relative. Back in bible times keeping things in the family was a big deal. Especially when it came to who would be the rightful heirs. So for Him to say He has fully adopted me and made me an heir is no small thing.

So what does that mean for my identity? It means that I need to stop seeing myself as “less than” or not good enough. I’ve been having my identity in my faults and how I feel I don’t measure up. God says I am an heir to all of His glory. I’ve made myself a daughter of fear and shame, not a daughter of righteousness and love. It’s time for me start seeing myself for how God, my Father, sees me, to actually believe what He says, and start walking in the confidence and security of His love for me. I’ve always known and believed that God IS love, but I need to also get it in my head that His love is for ME. Not just for other people but for me.

I think this is a big one for a lot of us. In a culture that is constantly demanding more, better, thinner, faster, etc, we start to feel like enough is never enough.  Just add in some mistakes in our pasts and there you have it…………..a whole world of people trying to prove themselves and find their identities in their accomplishments. Our Father says we ARE enough. The emptiness that we all tend to feel and that desire to feel acceptable can ONLY be filled in knowing our true identity in Him.

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